I've got a new rule now.

I'm the type of gal who has rules. Lots and lots of rules about different aspects of my life; most of the rules no one even knows about but me. Sometimes men, sometimes broken relationships, life experiences... sometimes these call for new rules that one can clearly see should have been in place sooner. Or rather, had the rule been in place sooner, this situation could have been avoided. Sorta like the NTSB.

This new rule has come about based on my ex's inability to comprehend when he reads. I knew he wasn't a reader before we got together in that I knew he was not a consumer of books and magazines. But I certainly figured he could read. We'd been together about a year and half when we decided to install a garage door opener. I didn't know it was a two person project so I was thinking he'd just do it by himself but when I went out to check on him after he'd been working for, oh, an hour or so, I could see that he was frustrated and things were not going well. "I don't see how this piece connects," he spit out when I asked how it was going. "Well," I asked innocently enough, "Where's the manual? What page are you on?" Clearly disgusted and seeing the act of reading the manual as a weakness, he had no idea. So I found it and started at the beginning and soon discovered that in one part he was totally ahead of himself and he had to undo this dealie and unhook that cable so as to hook this thingamig over the end of that part and he hadn't even used these black things yet, but they clearly needed to go on before you get to where he thought he was at.

So he dissassembled and I read the manual and showed him what came next and together we were a good team and we got that garage door opener installed!

Eventually we moved into a different home and in this home we experienced a series of unfortunate events that led to the installation of our second garage door opener.

It all started when he bought the snowmobile. He bought it for dirt cheap, used of course, but it worked! Well, pretty much anyway. I guess it would be more accurate to say it didn't take too much work to make it work. But he did the work. In the garage. And when he was finally all done with the work, he started it up to see if it was functional or not. But, see, he did that with the throttle full on and the good news was that it was fully functional! The bad news was that with the throttle full on, it just took off, on its own, and rammed into our garage door. SMACK!!

And so then we had a hole in the fiberglass. Turns out that our garage door was old enough that they no longer sell replacement panels for it. So he fixed it with duct tape. And it worked well enough and I parked my car in there in the winter and all was well, if not aesthetically pleasing.

Finally, though, that door's motor totally gave out and we reached a point where it had to be replaced. And it was just starting to be winter, too, so I was really needing to be able to put my car in there every night.

We had enough money due an unexpected windfall so we went shopping for a new garage door! Oh, joy, we were going to be so stylin' now. We bought the new door and a motor too. And brought it home. And you will not believe what I did. I said to myself, "Self, I don't feel like working in the cold, cold garage helping him install that door." And I did not. Ok, that's not quite exactly true. I started to help out and I had on warm clothes and everything. But all I was doing was standing there, reading the manual. I got very, very cold and very, very annoyed. Eventually I just left and went inside and took a hot shower and did other things. When I went out to check on him after a while, he was very, very annoyed. But not at me, of course, or even at himself. No, he was annoyed at the garage door opener. It didn't make any sense and it wasn't working out. "Hm," I said and I left to go do things in the house. Not necessarily the best attitude for one to take if one wants their car to be in the garage soon, but I had things to do besides just stand there and watch and read the book to him. Like, you know, be warm.

He did get it to work, sort of. I mean it worked. For a while. And then he decided that the problem was that the motor wasn't big enough. So he went out and bought a replacement motor. And again it worked, for a time. Now he has decided that the problem is that it needs another spring. The door came as a self contained unit, and it's designed to function with one spring. I'm not necessarily saying that it's designed correctly or that everyone else who bought this door got theirs to work with just one spring, but I am saying that when I went to the hardware store to buy the second spring, and showed the guy there my receipt for the door we'd bought, he said, "That door doesn't need two springs." He sold me one anyway because he could see it was going to get ugly if he didn't, but he really didn't want to. He also did not offer to come to my house and make it work, though.

Now, of course, there's another part I need if I want it to work, because the spring doesn't just install to itself, you know. It needs a winder. And I know that guy at the hardware store knew that too, and purposefully didn't tell me because of his insistence that my door didn't need a second spring and my insistence that I was buying one anyway. But this is not about that guy. No. It's about the other guy who also didn't tell me to buy the winder while I was picking up the spring.

So now here's my situation. It's July, so I can park outside and that's cool. But winter's coming. I have a garage door that won't open and an extra spring. I need a winder dealie but I have to go to the big city for that, and I will, I just don't go there often. Unlike my ex, who drives to and from the big city pretty much every weekend to see his new squeeze. I asked him if he'd just stop in to the store while he was there and pick one up since he knows exactly what to get and I don't and (der) this is his project and he needs to finish it. Ok, I didn't actually say that last part but he and I were both thinking it. He said he would do that but it's been weeks now and he hasn't so I guess he didn't mean it.

Saying you'll do things you don't mean to do and making promises you don't mean to keep are issues for another day but let's just say I'm not surprised and not even really disappointed anymore. Just frustrated. Why? Because buying this part will go just like buying the spring did, only worse, because I'll have to find a way to explain what I need to the guy and he'll need to explain to me why I don't need it and I'll have to be polite enough to get him to show me which part it is anyway while I endure his partronizig lecture on how my garage door "should" work. Being a bitch to him because I'm frustrated about this entire situation won't help anyone and it certainly won't help me find my part, will it? grr.

So anyway, as a result of all this, I have a new rule. And it is: In the future, I will not be the only person in the relationship who can read. Too harsh?